Sweet Sassy Princess

a diary of a princess wannabe!

Welcome to my Palace!

Hi I'm Jhellai, a girl with a fantastic and mind-boggling imagination. lols. a photographer wannabe, a frustrated writer and a multimedia artist in the making.

Visit her palace to witness the "princess" journey- Her ups and downs and victory. Will she find the word "everafter?"...

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"We dream of fairytale endings with our prince fighting the dragon and the evil witch.. but in reality, sometimes the prince simply makes the princess fall in love, then the princess will do all the fighting.."

Alone but not lonely - from Thuy's Thoughts on Life

I Got this from OLI's blog in Friendster. :)

Alone But Not Lonely

“People have become so empty that they can't even entertain themselves. They have to pay other people to amuse them, to make them laugh, to try to make them feel warm and happy and comfortable for a few minutes, to try to lose that awful, frightening, hollow feeling--that terrible, dreaded feeling of being lost and alone.”

“All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone.”


All is a bit exaggerated but I do agree that a lot of our problems come from our inability to be alone. We don't like the solitude and silence that arises when everybody is gone. There's nothing to distract us from ourselves, no external conversations, no one else to listen to. In this silence we can hear our thoughts. And with no one else competing to be heard it feels as if our thoughts are screaming at us. Unfortunately they're not always screaming good things. We have a tendency to concentrate on the negatives; that's where our thoughts gravitate towards. Our minds are filled with everything that isn't going well: our relationships, family problems, grades, etc.
In solitude we're also unable to be distracted from our emotions. There is no one to entertain us, to make us laugh and forget about the worries. So we have to confront them as the emotions come rushing out. The loneliness, disappointment, fear, helplessness, confusion, etc. Most of us don't know how to deal with these thoughts and emotions; they can be difficult to handle and often there is no way to fix them. They're hard to analyze and often harder to control. Having people around serves to rescue us from the confrontation with our thoughts and emotions. When we spend enough time with others we become accustomed to the escapes and the distractions. We usually don't take the time to learn how to deal with our internal problems; this is what makes being alone so difficult.

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” ~Orson Welles

We don't invest our time in learning how to be alone and happy at the same time. Did you even know that it was possible for those two words to coexist? Well, it is.
It's extremely important for us to learn how to build relationships with others. What is the point of anything if we have no one to share it with, right? The problem is that I believe we put so much emphasis on external bonds that we neglect the most important relationship of all; the one with ourselves. After the relationships with people around us end we're left to face life alone.
You might deny this inevitability and say that 'love is forever!' and 'friends are forever!' But the truth is that they usually are not. Relationships end. Think about all the people you've befriended or dated over the years. Think about how many of them are still there and will continue to support you unconditionally as the years progress. There aren't a lot, are there? Relationships tend to fall apart over time. The people closest to you right now will probably leave you. Once they find someone or something else that interests them more, they will likely leave. Once college ends and distance becomes an obstacle, the bonds will probably diminish. People do what's convenient and best for themselves. I've seen it happen time and fucking time again. Things change. Only the few people who genuinely, wholeheartedly care will stick around.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.”
Amidst all this change, we will overall be alone. So get used to it. Learn how to be comfortable with yourself. Own your actions, thoughts, and emotions. Accept what you can't change and fix what you can. Just...be happy being you. It has to happen. Or else you risk chasing after relationships for the sake of escaping loneliness and finding out that you can never completely do so. You can only be distracted from loneliness.

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